U ARE LIEK TEH WORZT FOKKERZ EVAH ADN I HAET U ALL U FCKIN N0BZ U HAEV FAIDLE ME FOR RAEL TIHZ TIEM
//The Adminstrator
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
So you want to know more about me
Apparently you don't think you know me enough, so here's one for you.
Hi, I'm Tomatketchup, I live in Lund, Iraq, and I work as a happist. So what is a happist you say? Well, I am a part of an organization called Al-Spuita. We spit on lampposts and places we do not like. And we spit. And spit. We spit... ON EVERYONE.
Anyway, here's a picture of me:
I am the darkness, the death and I have a freaking hood on my head.
I am probably the only guy on Earth that can lick his foots... at the same time.
And that should please you enough.
Hi, I'm Tomatketchup, I live in Lund, Iraq, and I work as a happist. So what is a happist you say? Well, I am a part of an organization called Al-Spuita. We spit on lampposts and places we do not like. And we spit. And spit. We spit... ON EVERYONE.
Anyway, here's a picture of me:
I am the darkness, the death and I have a freaking hood on my head.
I am probably the only guy on Earth that can lick his foots... at the same time.
And that should please you enough.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Great, just great.
I haven't written here for a while? Why you might ask? Well...
Today I woke up and found out that it was Monday. "Great, free day!". Then I found out it was Tuesday. Fuck. So I went to school. But I found out it was Wednesday as the teachers asked why I was gone last day. Then I found out it was Thursday, because we had a free day on Tuesday too apparently. So soon I found out it was actually Friday. The buds ate pizza because it was Friday, and I'm like WTF. Then I found out it was Saturday, and so did my buds, and we were actually gonna sing "Never gonna give you up" on school today. Why Saturday I don't know. Then I found it was actually Sunday when the teachers asked why we weren't performing our song yesterday. Then I found out it was Monday because it was all just a dream. Then I found out it was Tuesday as today is Tuesday.
Time's complicated eh?
Today I woke up and found out that it was Monday. "Great, free day!". Then I found out it was Tuesday. Fuck. So I went to school. But I found out it was Wednesday as the teachers asked why I was gone last day. Then I found out it was Thursday, because we had a free day on Tuesday too apparently. So soon I found out it was actually Friday. The buds ate pizza because it was Friday, and I'm like WTF. Then I found out it was Saturday, and so did my buds, and we were actually gonna sing "Never gonna give you up" on school today. Why Saturday I don't know. Then I found it was actually Sunday when the teachers asked why we weren't performing our song yesterday. Then I found out it was Monday because it was all just a dream. Then I found out it was Tuesday as today is Tuesday.
Time's complicated eh?
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Это название нейтрализованы.
Yes, that was russian for YOUR MOTHER.
Not much to report on the front today.
Eherm.
THIS IS SOVIET!
/redbearkick
Not much to report on the front today.
Eherm.
THIS IS SOVIET!
/redbearkick
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Pissed skunks are serious shit
I'm pissed today. If it were like that all my angerness would be made of pissed skunks, there would be like lots of pissed skunks. It's like if those pissed skunks were taped together with indian tape and they became like one big mutated pissed skunk there would be like LOTS of mutated pissed skunks that were mutated together which means there would be like LOTS LOTS of mutated mutaded pissed skunks and there would like be raining mutated mutated pissed squirrels and they were all on fire and they all screamed and they all like were mutated into one creature and thatcreaturewouldbelikemutatedmutatedmutatedpissedskunkandtherewouldbelikeLOTSofmutatuiahwoguiwibfgawfahdiojawoifaowufhaowpfhawfouahwf.
I'm that pissed.
I wake up. My fellow mate got kicked out from his house by a guy who didn't like that he smoked on his toilet. He decided to sleep with me and well. So I wake up and notices that he SNORES. HE FUCKING SNORES IN MY ROOM. I get a bucket of water and throw it at him. He's like WTF man stop throwing shit on me you son of a pissed skunk! OMFG.
Then he went to sleep again.
Brush my teeth with low quality toilet paper, go out, get smashed in the head by a weight. Quite light, yet it hurt very much. Keep on walking to the job. Coming to the office. Sits down. A man then screams and jumps like a monkey screaming it hurts. Apparently he had an orgasm last night and it kept flooding sooooo much he got dehydriaded. Poor chump, I feel for him.
Well, not really, he screamed like a monkey.
ANYWAY, keep working, my boss comes into the room. He stares on us, quite angry looking, until he screams "I AM FIRRRRED!" and jumps out from the window. He breaks his neck and dies.
We prayed to God and thanked him.
Quit work, my cell phone rings. Answer the phone. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". "OMG STOP CALLING THE WRONG NUMBER YOU FUCKING DICK." Quiet. "Oh sorry man, wrong nu-" IGNORED BITCH.
Watched television. Spetsnaz, that before took over my blog, had finally recreated the eggsalad sandvich and they threw it at the White House, and Barack Obama decleared war on Soviet Russia. France, being such cowards said "Yeah, we wanna join too, we feel like being occupied again, funny to learn new languages.". What, no, the french president did actually say so. No, seriously. Germany declared war on themself, Norway begun to laugh at nothing but Finland got sick of that the norwegians kept sounding like they got orgasm every time they quit a sentance and occupied them. Norway stopped laughing. Some guy called Timos became the president of Greece and suddenly Rockstar Games had full control of that country, Turkey decided to switch name to Chicken, Spain began to realize that italian sounded exactly like spanish, Great Britian changed their time when they were gonna have tea time as at that time they were busy attacking Soviet Russia, and before that they were gonna have a meeting in China, so they were a little busy, China said that the Third World War was not started by Soviet Russia, there exists no war, and Internet is now only for australian porn only. Australia stopped making porn.
That was pretty much the Third World War. Let's hope no one remembers this war.
I'm that pissed.
I wake up. My fellow mate got kicked out from his house by a guy who didn't like that he smoked on his toilet. He decided to sleep with me and well. So I wake up and notices that he SNORES. HE FUCKING SNORES IN MY ROOM. I get a bucket of water and throw it at him. He's like WTF man stop throwing shit on me you son of a pissed skunk! OMFG.
Then he went to sleep again.
Brush my teeth with low quality toilet paper, go out, get smashed in the head by a weight. Quite light, yet it hurt very much. Keep on walking to the job. Coming to the office. Sits down. A man then screams and jumps like a monkey screaming it hurts. Apparently he had an orgasm last night and it kept flooding sooooo much he got dehydriaded. Poor chump, I feel for him.
Well, not really, he screamed like a monkey.
ANYWAY, keep working, my boss comes into the room. He stares on us, quite angry looking, until he screams "I AM FIRRRRED!" and jumps out from the window. He breaks his neck and dies.
We prayed to God and thanked him.
Quit work, my cell phone rings. Answer the phone. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". 5 minutes later, it rings again. "Oh sorry man, wrong number". "OMG STOP CALLING THE WRONG NUMBER YOU FUCKING DICK." Quiet. "Oh sorry man, wrong nu-" IGNORED BITCH.
Watched television. Spetsnaz, that before took over my blog, had finally recreated the eggsalad sandvich and they threw it at the White House, and Barack Obama decleared war on Soviet Russia. France, being such cowards said "Yeah, we wanna join too, we feel like being occupied again, funny to learn new languages.". What, no, the french president did actually say so. No, seriously. Germany declared war on themself, Norway begun to laugh at nothing but Finland got sick of that the norwegians kept sounding like they got orgasm every time they quit a sentance and occupied them. Norway stopped laughing. Some guy called Timos became the president of Greece and suddenly Rockstar Games had full control of that country, Turkey decided to switch name to Chicken, Spain began to realize that italian sounded exactly like spanish, Great Britian changed their time when they were gonna have tea time as at that time they were busy attacking Soviet Russia, and before that they were gonna have a meeting in China, so they were a little busy, China said that the Third World War was not started by Soviet Russia, there exists no war, and Internet is now only for australian porn only. Australia stopped making porn.
That was pretty much the Third World War. Let's hope no one remembers this war.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Duke Nukem Day
Hello. My religion is called Pwnagism which means I celebrate holidays like Duke Nukem Day. And everyone is such a fucker these days as they don't give a shit in what we religious is trying to say. Fuck, even the bankers didn't respect me today.
Banker: How can I help you sir?
Me: Damn, you're ugly.
Banker: Excuse me sir?
Me: I'll rip off your head and shit down your neck.
Banker: Sorry sir, if you are here to insult me I'll ha-
Me: What you're waitin' for? Christmas?
And those FUCKING guards comes and TAKES me OUT! WTF WTF WTMFF (What the mother fucking fuck fuck)!? But I try to be nice still, so I said while I was dragged out: Well, enough talk then. Come get some! Oh, banker, one more thing. I'm gonna enjoy pissin' on your dead body!
Hell, people have to even make COMMENTS on my religion! Fucking bastards! Playing with my 5-year old kid in the backyard:
Me: Get ready to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!
Random bitch: How dare you!
Me: You must be 18 or older to ride.
And then that bitch proceeded to punch me in the face with her BRIEFCASE! Damn that's some FUCKING INTOLERANCE!
So to avoid further intolerance I decided to stay inside my house rest of the day. Coming up: Chuck Norris Day!
Yippie ka-yay, motherfuckers!
Banker: How can I help you sir?
Me: Damn, you're ugly.
Banker: Excuse me sir?
Me: I'll rip off your head and shit down your neck.
Banker: Sorry sir, if you are here to insult me I'll ha-
Me: What you're waitin' for? Christmas?
And those FUCKING guards comes and TAKES me OUT! WTF WTF WTMFF (What the mother fucking fuck fuck)!? But I try to be nice still, so I said while I was dragged out: Well, enough talk then. Come get some! Oh, banker, one more thing. I'm gonna enjoy pissin' on your dead body!
Hell, people have to even make COMMENTS on my religion! Fucking bastards! Playing with my 5-year old kid in the backyard:
Me: Get ready to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!
Random bitch: How dare you!
Me: You must be 18 or older to ride.
And then that bitch proceeded to punch me in the face with her BRIEFCASE! Damn that's some FUCKING INTOLERANCE!
So to avoid further intolerance I decided to stay inside my house rest of the day. Coming up: Chuck Norris Day!
Yippie ka-yay, motherfuckers!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
I'VE HAD IT
YEAH, I'M MOTHERFUCKING SAMUEL L. JACKSON MOTHER FUCKER.
THIS IS ME MOTHER FUCKER
...AND I AM HERE TODAY TO FUCKING TELL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS SOMETHING THAT I FUCKING HATE.
THAT PIECE OF SHIT STARCRAFT
I TELL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS THAT'S SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT RIGHT THERE IT FUCKING MAKES ME FUCKING PISSED MOTHER FUCKER AND IT'S FUCKING BULLSHITMOTHERFUCKERCOCKSHITWHORESATANSCUNTPUKEFUCKFUCKBATMANPIECEOFSHITRUSSIANASSHOLEFUCKSHITSOVIETMOTHERFUCKERPIECEOFFUCKINGBULLSHITMOTHERFUCKERCUNTCUNTFUCKCOCKWHOREFUCKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!
YEAH OK LETS START WITH THAT BULLSHIT OK YOU SEE RIGHT HERE HERE IS FUCKING STARCRAFT OK YOU FUCKSHITWHORE THIS IS MOTHER FUCKING STARCRAFT AND THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT RIGHT THERE MOTHER FUCKER YOU SEE IT MOTHER FUCKER OK LETS START IT OK MOTHER FUCKER YEAH LOOK HERE MOTHER FUCKER TURN THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT ON SELECT FUCKING RACE OK I FUCKING SELECT FUCKING ZERG OK FUCKING BUILD BASE OMGWTFBBQ FUCKING GETTING INVADED IN 5 MOTHER FUCKING MINUTES BY THOSE FUCKING NO MOUTHS COCKSUCKERS OMG PEW PEW OMG I LOST WTF IT WAS ONLY 5 MOTHER FUCKING MINUTES AND THAT WAS EASY YOU FUCKINGCOCKSHITMOTHERFUCKERWHOREBULLSHITMOTHERFUCKERCOCKSHITWHORESATANSCUNTPUKEFUCKFUCKBATMANPIECEOFSHITRUSSIANASSHOLEFUCKSHITSOVIETMOTHERFUCKERPIECEOFFUCKINGBULLSHITMOTHERFUCKERCUNTCUNTFUCKCOCKWHOREFUCKSHITEATINGFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!
FUCK THIS SHIT I'M GONNA FUCK YOU ALL YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OMG FUCK YOU DICKSUCKING MOMFUCKER DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
FUUUUCKKKK STAAAAARRRRRCCCRRRRAAAAAFFFFFTTTTT MOTHER FUCKER
THIS IS ME MOTHER FUCKER
...AND I AM HERE TODAY TO FUCKING TELL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS SOMETHING THAT I FUCKING HATE.
THAT PIECE OF SHIT STARCRAFT
I TELL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS THAT'S SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT RIGHT THERE IT FUCKING MAKES ME FUCKING PISSED MOTHER FUCKER AND IT'S FUCKING BULLSHITMOTHERFUCKERCOCKSHITWHORESATANSCUNTPUKEFUCKFUCKBATMANPIECEOFSHITRUSSIANASSHOLEFUCKSHITSOVIETMOTHERFUCKERPIECEOFFUCKINGBULLSHITMOTHERFUCKERCUNTCUNTFUCKCOCKWHOREFUCKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!
YEAH OK LETS START WITH THAT BULLSHIT OK YOU SEE RIGHT HERE HERE IS FUCKING STARCRAFT OK YOU FUCKSHITWHORE THIS IS MOTHER FUCKING STARCRAFT AND THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT RIGHT THERE MOTHER FUCKER YOU SEE IT MOTHER FUCKER OK LETS START IT OK MOTHER FUCKER YEAH LOOK HERE MOTHER FUCKER TURN THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT ON SELECT FUCKING RACE OK I FUCKING SELECT FUCKING ZERG OK FUCKING BUILD BASE OMGWTFBBQ FUCKING GETTING INVADED IN 5 MOTHER FUCKING MINUTES BY THOSE FUCKING NO MOUTHS COCKSUCKERS OMG PEW PEW OMG I LOST WTF IT WAS ONLY 5 MOTHER FUCKING MINUTES AND THAT WAS EASY YOU FUCKINGCOCKSHITMOTHERFUCKERWHOREBULLSHITMOTHERFUCKERCOCKSHITWHORESATANSCUNTPUKEFUCKFUCKBATMANPIECEOFSHITRUSSIANASSHOLEFUCKSHITSOVIETMOTHERFUCKERPIECEOFFUCKINGBULLSHITMOTHERFUCKERCUNTCUNTFUCKCOCKWHOREFUCKSHITEATINGFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!
FUCK THIS SHIT I'M GONNA FUCK YOU ALL YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OMG FUCK YOU DICKSUCKING MOMFUCKER DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
FUUUUCKKKK STAAAAARRRRRCCCRRRRAAAAAFFFFFTTTTT MOTHER FUCKER
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